When She Loved Me
by itami-battosai
Summary: Sesshoumaru's worst memory with -When She Loved Me-. (Reviews!)


Disclaimer: I do not own "Inu Yasha" or any of its characters. I also do not own Sarah MacLaughlin, the movie "Toy Story 2", or the song "When She Loved Me".  
  
Notes: Break out the hankies!!  
  
--Something-- = thoughts

==Something== = memories  
  
Lyrics are indented.

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The moonlight shone down on the forest. Its only purpose at the moment was to illuminate the figure of a man in white sitting on the branch of a tree. His pelt gleamed brightly, and anyone passing might have mistaken him for an angel.  
  
But he wasn't. He was Sesshoumaru.  
  
The demon sighed as he gazed down at the village below. He had been waiting there for a few months, barely eating and sleeping. He was waiting.........  
  
Waiting for Rin.  
  
When somebody loved me,  
Everything was beautiful.  
Every hour we spent together  
Lives within my heart.  
  
In his mind's eye, he could see her at their first meeting. He had been wounded from a fight with Inu Yasha, lying in the forest and bleeding badly. She had come out of nowhere and helped him recover. He remembered the look in her brown eyes – determined, happy. Even though he had tried to push her away, she remained at his side.  
  
When she had been slain by wolves, Sesshoumaru had chased them away. He had been about to walk away when something in him made him wince. He didn't know what it was, nor why he did what he did, but he used his Tenseiga to heal her.  
  
Only when she had turned her eyes to him wearily did Sesshoumaru feel the pain fade away. Only then did he feel content.........  
  
And when she was sad,  
I was there to dry her tears.  
  
Sesshoumaru remembered Jaken's expression. It was obvious that he didn't want a little girl in their group, especially in the presence of a dog- demon and a lizard creature. Rin had begun to sniffle, and Sesshoumaru had seen a gleam of a tear in her eye.  
  
"Jaken," Sesshoumaru said sharply, "she will be traveling with us, and THAT is THAT."  
  
"B-But, my Lord," Jaken had begun to protest, but Rin's happy cheers drowned him out. She had run up and hugged him tightly around the middle before turning to Sesshoumaru and doing the same. He had been taken aback, but something told him it was all right.  
  
That something in him was the feeling he had now.  
  
And when she was happy, so was I  
When she loved me.  
  
Sesshoumaru sighed as more memories came to mind. Rin playing in a field, Rin adorning Jaken with flowers, Rin snuggled up against him when she slept – all of them were as fresh as ever.  
  
--She was always happy,-- he thought as he shifted on his perch. --Barely a frown or a tear out of her.-- 

Then, another memory arose within him.  
  
Through the summer and the fall,  
We had each other that was all,  
  
==Sesshoumaru had been out searching for a left arm but had failed miserably. All of them had been rotting and unfit for his body. As he returned to camp, he saw Jaken curled up by the fire.........but no Rin.  
  
"Rin?" he called out softly as he walked about the camp.  
  
"Why did you leave, Sesshoumaru?"  
  
The demon looked down to see Rin sitting behind a berry bush. Her hands were tugging at the frayed hem of her dress, and her eyes were downcast as she talked. The tugging that had doubled in size seized him once again, and it forced him to his knees beside her.  
  
Just she and I together,  
Like it was meant to be.  
  
"You left me all alone, Sesshoumaru," Rin said sadly. "Why did you leave?"  
  
"I had things to do," was all he said. At this, Rin turned to look at him, her eyes overflowing with tears.  
  
"You didn't want to be with me?" Rin whispered as she tried vainly to wipe the wet orbs away. "You don't like me?"  
  
And when she was lonely,  
I was there to comfort her,  
  
"No, no, no," Sesshoumaru said softly as he reached out a clawed hand and stroked her black hair. He gently pulled Rin into his lap as he continued, "I wouldn't leave you, little one. Not now, not ever. You helped me when I needed it.........and now I'm helping you."  
  
Rin sniffled and snuggled into his pelt. "Promise you won't leave again?" she asked as she felt sleep claim her.  
  
Sesshoumaru smiled as he picked her up and brought her to the fire. He sat down in front of it, careful not to disturb the girl, and whispered in her ear:  
  
"I promise."==  
  
And I knew that  
She loved me. 

Sesshoumaru smiled as the image faded away. But a high laugh brought him out of his daydreaming mood. He placed his attention back on the hut closest to the woods, where the laugh had come from. He recognized it – it was hers.  
  
He remembered how it had begun.  
  
He had only been away for a few moments, talking to some demons about Inu Yasha. But when he had come back, he remembered Rin's words:  
  
"Sesshoumaru.........I met a boy........."  
  
So the years went by.  
I stayed the same,  
  
It was this same village where Sesshoumaru had lost her, where she had spoken those fatal words to him. She had only been eight, and she'd met a boy from a nearby hut. They had talked and become quite close in only a short time.  
  
A sharp pain replaced the tugging that had always claimed him around Rin. But he didn't express this pain to Rin – he only smiled and said, "Then let me see him."  
  
But she began to drift away.  
I was left alone.  
  
Then Rin had come up to him in the night and said, "I'm going to stay with him, Sesshoumaru."  
  
That was the last he saw of her.  
  
Still I waited for the day  
When she'd say, "I will always love you."  
  
Sesshoumaru had awoken in the morning to find Rin and her belongings gone. The family of the boy she had met had taken her in and given her a home.  
  
She hadn't even said goodbye.  
  
Sesshoumaru winced as the pain came back to him with the memory. Ever since he had left, Jaken had tried his best to cheer him up. But nothing worked – every day the demon felt the pain, and every night he slept alongside it.  
  
"Sesshoumaru?"  
  
Lonely and forgotten,  
Never thought she'd look my way.  
  
The dog demon looked up suddenly and jumped off the branch. --I didn't even sense anyone coming,-- he thought as he peered at the stranger. It was a young teenager with long black hair that hung down her back. Her robes were orange. --Just like Rin's,-- Sesshoumaru thought. Then he noticed her eyes – they were brown.........and familiar.........  
  
Golden eyes widening at the sight, he asked softly:  
  
"Rin?"  
  
But she smiled at me and held me,  
Just like she used to do.  
  
The girl grinned and ran up to him. In a flash, her arms were wrapped around his torso.........and, much to his surprise, his own were wrapped around her. He took in her scent – wildflowers, just like when she was little.  
  
"It's been so long," Rin stated, her voice muffled by his white pelt.  
  
"Yes," was all Sesshoumaru said, "too long."  
  
"Oh!" Rin pulled back a little to look up at the demon she had traveled with so long ago. "Guess what?"  
  
Sesshoumaru gave her a lopsided grin. "What is it?" he asked, feeling the wonderful tugging he had missed so much in his heart.  
  
Like she loved me,  
  
Rin bit her lip while grinning at him before speaking. Her brown eyes glistened with tears as she said the words that made Sesshoumaru's smile disappear and the sharp pain redouble within his soul:  
  
"I'm going to be married."  
  
When she loved me.  
  
"R-Really........." Sesshoumaru said half-heartedly. Rin nodded fiercely in reply, her tears of happiness flinging themselves into the night.  
  
"I've never been so happy before in my whole life, Sesshoumaru," Rin gushed. "Never!"  
  
The words cut through Sesshoumaru like claws. Is this supposed to hurt this much? he asked himself as he let Rin go from his embrace. Rin instantly frowned.  
  
"What's wrong, Sesshoumaru? Aren't you happy?" Rin asked him, taking his hand in her own.  
  
When somebody loved me,  
Everything was beautiful.  
  
Sesshoumaru felt her soft skin against his, and he looked up into her brown eyes. He could see her worry reflected in them, and he knew what he had to say.  
  
"Yes," he said with a smile, "I AM happy for you, Rin. For as long as you are happy, so am I."  
  
Rin smiled and gave Sesshoumaru another hug. "Arigatou, Sesshoumaru," she said softly before letting go and turning away. "I have to head back now. It was so nice seeing you again."  
  
Sesshoumaru smiled in response as Rin ran down the hill. "As it was seeing you," he replied as she turned back briefly to wave a farewell.  
  
Every hour we spent together  
Lives within my heart.  
  
As Rin faded back into the darkness, Sesshoumaru let his smile drop and climbed back onto his perch. The reason for the pain in his heart was clear to him now, as was the reason for the tugging that he had experienced around her. And he knew the truth.........  
  
Without a word, the dog demon brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. The pelt fell to one side, revealing his almost-human features before he buried his face into his curled-up legs.  
  
The moonlight shone down on the forest. Its only purpose at the moment was to illuminate the figure of a man in white sitting on the branch of a tree. Anyone passing might have mistaken him for an angel.  
  
When she loved me.........  
  
But angels don't cry.........

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Reviews welcomed with open arms and lots of hankies!! 


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